The Ugliest, Tastiest Kale Chips EVER!

OMIGOD! When Stan and Jan Berenstain wrote The Berenstain Bears Trick or Treat, and the moral of the story was looks can be deceiving, they were most definitely writing about my kale chips. So, just ignore the ugliest picture of kale chips in the history of ever and give these bad boys a try! Making kale chips feels like the ultimate crossover into paleo living, and I’ve got to tell you, there are worse things a cavewoman in the 21st century could be eating because these are TO DIE FOR. Kale, I’m sorry I ever talked ugly about you. You will always be hidden in my smoothies, but you will be front and center when it comes to sautéing and chips.

I can’t take a picture to save my life. But I did make three batches of these, so I figured out quickly (aside from presentation) what works and what doesn’t. If you don’t like salty, strong-flavored foods, reduce seasonings to nothing more than a pinch each. Also, tear the kale into larger pieces if you want the final product to be relatively large, too. I tore mine too small (see below) so they were almost shriveled when they came out of the oven, but the taste was still wonderful.

What did the girls think of these? Well, Toodle ate about 4 pieces (holy cow, for real!) and then decided they were no longer cool. Twinkle, on the other hand, had to be rationed. I finally cut her off because, and this is a true story, she refused to eat anything else for dinner.

I finally decided to make these because we are going the whole hog on healthy, immune-system-friendly eating. Toodle’s hair is trying so hard to grow and K-Hubs is feeling better than he has felt in a long time. So it’s paleo all the way. The last holds have been a few gluten-free, low-sugar cereals and organic corn chips. I laugh about this last one. Organic corn chips. It just feels like an oxymoron. Kale chips to the rescue.

Because after getting another autoimmune disease book, The Autoimmune Solution by Amy Myers, M.D., I finally had to have a little chat with myself. I said, “Here’s the deal, self, you know if you want this diet to work you have to go all the way. You can’t half-ass it. That’s why it doesn’t work for so many people. The chronic illnesses in your family may not take to half-ass diets. It’s the whole hog or it’s nothing.”

Whole hog it is. Two notes about these kale chips. One, a handful goes a long way. And, two, I may even give up Doritos for these. True as toast.

Ingredients

• 1 bunch kale
• 2 tbsp coconut oil, melted
• 1/8 tsp salt
• 1/8 tsp garlic
• 1/8 tsp onion powder

Directions

1. Cut kale into pieces, removing stems.
2. Rinse kale, pat with paper towel to dry.
3. Melt coconut oil in 9×13 pan.*
4. Add seasonings to melted coconut oil.
5. Toss kale pieces into pan and stir to evenly coat with coconut mixture.
6. Bake at 400 degrees for up to 15 minutes, checking and stirring every 5 minutes.**

*I melt the oil by putting the pan in the oven as it is heating up to the desired temperature.

**If your finished kale is still too oily for your liking, pat it with another paper towel to remove excess oil.

Advertisement

Hide Your Vegetables! Pico De Gallo

Vegetables should be hidden, not taste like vegetables, or be slathered in goop. But let’s face it, sometimes we just need to eat them as they are. Since Toodle has a tomato allergy I lamented we’d never get to eat salsa again, which was, in my world, a vegetable. Even though its base is a fruit. I like my science better. Math is hard.

I scoured traditional salsa recipes to see if I could exchange ingredients for those that are Toodle-friendly, and this is what I finally put together.

The great news is you’ll eat about a week’s worth of vegetables in one sitting. So if you want to indulge in some slathery goopy goodness, you will have probably earned it. And even though you can see the vegetables, the lime and salt hide the vegetables’ nefarious purpose of trying to corrupt us into healthy eating. The chips are a nice touch, too.

Ingredients

• 1 red pepper, diced
• 1 orange pepper, diced
• 1 yellow pepper, diced
• 2 jalapenos, cored and diced
• 1 bushel of cilantro, finely sliced
• 1 red onion, finely diced
• 1 lime, sliced in half
• Salt, to taste
• Corn chips

Directions

1. Combine peppers, jalapenos, cilantro, and red onion in large mixing bowl.
2. Squeeze lime juice from each half into mixture and stir.
3. Add salt and stir.

NOTES

I have made this often enough to learn that finely slicing and dicing the ingredients makes for a better recipe. If the ingredients are cut too large or too thick, it’s difficult to get a blended taste. I won’t lie, this one is a commitment. If you decide to make it often, for sanity’s sake, you might want to invest in a small food chopper.

 

 

 

 

K-Hubs’ Chicken and Vegetable Soup

When I first met K-hubs he was a fit, healthy, tuna-consuming, frozen-burrito-eating, frozen-pizza-loving bachelor.  If it didn’t come from a can or the freezer, he wasn’t eating it.  Although I’m not always the healthiest of eaters, I would have weighed seven hundred pounds had I eaten the way he did.  Since my metabolism doesn’t quite work like his, we met in the middle.  I have learned to like wheat bread, and he has learned to assemble ingredients.

Over the years it has paid off.  Just the other night he wowed us ladies, well, Toodlebug and I, with his version of crockpot chicken and vegetable soup.  We were under a blizzard advisory, a wind chill advisory, and threats to the stability of our roof, thus this comforting recipe came at just the right time.  It’s K-Hubs created and Toodlebug approved.

According to K-Hubs, he made it up as he went along, much like The Gram would have done.  I like that thought.

Ingredients

• 2 14.5 oz. cans chicken broth
• 2 cans water (for thicker soup, add only one can)
• 1 12.5 oz. can white chicken breast (we use 1 can of Kirkland brand chicken breast)
• 3-4 carrots, sliced
• 3-4 potatoes, diced
• 1 15 oz. can green beans
• 1 15 oz. can corn

The following ingredients to taste

• Onion salt
• Garlic powder
• Old Bay^® seasoning
• Salt
• Pepper

Directions

1. Set crockpot to 6 or 8 hours
2. Combine broth, water, chicken, carrots, potatoes, and seasonings, stirring occasionally.
3. Approximately 45 minutes before serving, add green beans and corn.
4. Serve warm with bread or rolls.

Variations

Because this was an experiment from the start, we began thinking about the next time we’ll make this.  We brainstormed adding fresh garlic and onion, adding tomatoes with the green beans and corn, using less water, and serving it with seasoned breadsticks.  When we ate it as leftovers, as seen in the first photo, we added noodles.  It was divine!